Sowing and Reaping

I got to speak to one of my all-time favorite people today...Pastor Joseph from Uganda. He's in town with another elder from his church and my brother had the privilege of taking them to lunch. I didn't know they were in town, so when I got the call I was beyond excited.

I've been to Kampala Uganda 3 times. The first time was in 96 and I lived there for 3 months as I did a sort of internship before my senior year of Bible College. The 2nd time I was part of a ministry team and we were there for 6 weeks (I think). The 3rd time was just a few years ago when my pastor wasn't able to visit, so he sent me and my dad instead. We were only there for 2 weeks but it was such a special 2 weeks for me...my dad is an incredible man and I LOVED traveling with him.

When I was there for 3 months I got very close to several people. Pastor Joseph is one of them. As a joke, someone gave me a Ugandan name and it just happened to be the same as Pastor Joseph's mother. Of course from that time on he has referred to me as "Mama".

All that to say....when he got on the phone with me today we were joking about me being his Mama. I told him I hoped to be able to see him because he has never met Shane or George. I said, "You need to meet your little brother George." And that just opened up the floodgates.....

He will probably never know it, but he said something I have desperately been needing to hear. He said, "Oh Mama. Isn't the Lord faithful? You sowed into sons, and now you've reaped a son."

Shane has 3 sons. I've already written about Casey. But I've not written about Caleb (19) and Chase (16). For so many complicated, hurtful, horrible reasons they are not in relationship with us at all. And I have been struggling and wrestling with that fact. I can't even begin to imagine how Shane must feel about it. There probably aren't words to describe that kind of loss.

But there is always hope. Always. I never once realized that as I sowed several things into Caleb and Chase's lives I would reap such an incredible miracle - my own miracle son. (for anyone who doesn't know, we were told by doctors that we wouldn't be able to have children of our own) Each time I looked at George for the rest of the day I could hear Joseph telling me I reaped a son. And I could feel some healing come into my heart. And it gives me even more incentive to keep sowing even when it seems I'm just throwing away good seed.