Thursday, April 8, 2010

Almost there

We got so much done today. I'm absolutely exhausted and I just realized I didn't sit much today, except to eat a little. This blog probably won't be very long. :)

My parents came over this morning. I've always known they were amazing people, but now...I REALLY know. On many levels. They just serve. And serve. And serve. No strings attached, no hidden motives (except my mom...all she wants is to play with George). They are cheerful, they are so refreshing, and the bottom line - they are unselfish. Oh I hope I'm as unselfish and loving as they are someday when I grow up.

Not sure if my dad has ever been in a liquor store or not, but he loaded up his truck with boxes from our neighborhood liquor store, and tonight it makes me laugh to think of it.

My dear friend Nancy came tonight as well. I don't think I'm emotionally ready to write about how much I'm going to miss her. Or how much I've relied on her for over 8 years. Or how I will always cherish her role in Shane and my dating/engagement/marriage. Or how my heart melts every time George asks for, "Nancy?" because he is a miracle that she unselfishly prayed about for years. Or how much I cannot picture my life without her popping in, and hearing her laugh, and listening to her hilarious stories. It takes a special friend to pack up all your coats, pantry and bathroom items and fragile knick knacks. I'm just thankful she ate half the bag of Cheddar Cheese Munchies with me so I didn't have to feel guilty about eating the whole thing alone.

We've had a small bump in the road this week. The woman who was going to rent us a home in Denver has backed out and wants to rent to her daughter instead. I understand. I really do. And in all honesty I'm kind of relieved. Now Shane will have about 6 weeks to find something that he knows we will like. And it will be OK. We're still going to Denver. We still know this is God's plan for us. Even if we're homeless. ha ha

But now its getting later and later and I want to watch my last episode of Survivor in my own purple bedroom.

Friday, April 2, 2010

"It really sucks"

I have been un-motivated to start packing. So I asked my dad to come over today and help me. He is a master packer.

We began with books. I love books. We have a LOT of books. And George did not like the idea of the books going into boxes. So as my dad packed, I was just Mommy because George wouldn't let me do much packing.

I made a stew in the crock pot when George was sleeping, and I helped direct Pops toward what should be packed in what kind of container...but other than that, I didn't contribute a whole lot. BUT, I do feel very motivated now. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of gal. I don't generally begin projects and leave them unfinished. There are now boxes all...over...my...house. And I want the job done. So I'm motivated!

My pops and I received such a joyful phone call while packing books. My brother and his wife are expecting baby #4. And its a BOY! Of course a part of me grieves that I won't be as hands on with my nephew as I was able to be with my 3 nieces. But I am also comforted that my parents will have a baby grandson relatively nearby.

This afternoon my mom came by and she took care of George so we could pack as much as possible. Once I stood at the top of the stairs and listened to them play downstairs. I just cried. I can still clearly remember the emotions I had for several years when we thought maybe we wouldn't be able to have children. Listening to my mom play with George today made me feel 2 things: First, relief and incredible peace and joy at the simple fact that George exists, and my mom can play with him. Second, longing and pain at the realization that I won't hear the sound of them together as often as I have these past 18 months.

Tomorrow is going to be quite emotional as well. Its a bridal shower for my future daughter-in-law. I can't count how many times I prayed for her to arrive on the scene. And now that she's here, its breaking my heart that I won't get to be close by for their first years of marriage. Sigh.

Anyway...I'm not super gloomy tonight, but I am going to need a good long cry I think.

My dad always helps bring a smile to my face. Today as I was feeding George lunch, Pops came downstairs to get more boxes. I thanked him for helping us pack and he acknowledged that its hard to help his daughter's family move across the country. "It really sucks" he said with a huge grin and kept on packing.

At least we're all smiling! Even if "it really sucks".