Classroom

Without me realizing it, I ended up in God's classroom tonight. I think. I'm still trying to figure it out, but I have a feeling that the Lord is trying to teach me something. And in all honesty, I'm not sure I want to learn it, and I have no idea how long it will take for me to implement it into my daily life.

I enjoy problem solving. It is one reason I went into counseling and pastoral work. I like delving into people's lives and hearts, figuring out what the root problem (or problems) are, and then giving them tools, counsel, prayer, correction...whatever it takes to see the problem solved.

One large aspect of problem solving is being a peacemaker. I live for peace. I thrive in atmospheres where there is harmony, peace, laughter, healthy friendships etc. Throw me into a situation where people are at odds with each other and I'm sitting in the corner observing, analyzing and very interested in helping these people restore their relationship. I honestly lose sleep over unresolved conflict.

I ended up in God's classroom tonight when I realized (again) that some people don't want restored relationships. They aren't interested in actually fixing problems or conflicts. They are cozy, comfy and could care less about having friendships with substance or depth. Conversation will not help. Confrontation would be a disaster. There is nothing I can do about it.

But I think that is exactly what the Lord wants me to learn. He is trying His best to let me know that I'm not responsible for solving every problem that comes across my path. Some things are not to be on my shoulders. I cannot and should not always be the peacemaker. Sometimes people are the way they are because they choose to be so. It has nothing to do with me. At all.

My trial of trials is when it does have to do with me or my family. Because not only do I want every problem solved and every conflict resolved...I also care deeply about what people think of me. I hate admitting it. Its embarrassing and I feel like I'm in middle school but some of my biggest struggles come from me caring what people's perception of me is. I want everyone to like me, and I want everyone to be happy. HA!!

Looks like I need to be in God's classroom more than I realized when I started typing this blog. I hope and pray I can be a good student. I'd far rather be on lunch break than in this classroom, that's for sure.